On Friday this week I will wrap up another Be Happy8-week happiness course, held in London, UK.The end of the program always feels bittersweet to me. I am already grieving and I am so grateful for the journey we have been on.And it’s not over yet!
For the last eight weeks a group of fifty people have participated in a deep inquiry into life’s #1 goal:happiness.The theme for this year has been, giving up the search for happiness.In particular, we have explored the difference between “searching for happiness” and “following your joy.”The “searching” paradigm takes you outside of yourself and focuses forever on the future; the “following” paradigm helps you to meet yourself and to live more fully in the present tense.
Over eight weeks we have worked our way through a series of workshops, home study modules, daily e-mails, and have also participated on an online discussion board.We have explored the #1 Happiness Principle, The Self-Acceptance Formula, Healing Unhappiness, The Happiness Scale, 100 Gratitudes, the Receiving Meditation, the Forgiveness Principle, our Family Story about happiness, and much more.It has been a rich inquiry, and I am grateful to everyone who has participated.
Stephanie Mitchell for Oprah.com interviewed me recently about the Be Happy 8-week program.Her article is entitled Find True Happiness.In the interview Stephanie outlines ten ways to be a finder, not a searcher.She captures the spirit of my work very well.
The next Be Happy8-week course will be held in London, in October-November 2010.You can book your place now.
Today is the start of a new eight-week happiness course, called Be Happy.Over the next two months, a group of approximately fifty people will gather in Central London to participate in a journey that will explore one of life’s most cherished and elusive goals - happiness.This year, one of the major themes we will investigate is, giving up the search for happiness.
I wonder, has it ever occurred to you that the search for happiness can be a major block to happiness?In the beginning, the search for happiness seems honest enough. However, I would ask you, how long do you really need to search for?One week?One month?One more year?One more workshop?My first spiritual mentor, an Indian yogi and philosopher, insisted that the search for happiness can be over in the blink of an eye, if, that is, you accept you are what we seek.
How exactly might the search for happiness be a block to happiness?Here are five insights for you to consider.
1. Outside You: The search for happiness arises from the erroneous belief that happiness is outside you.This displacement takes happiness away from its proper place, just as the search for happiness also takes you away from yourself.Happiness is not outside you. Until you accept that happiness is your true nature you will keep searching for happiness in all the wrong places.
2. Not Here: The search for happiness conditions you to think that happiness is somewhere else other than where you are right now. Mistakenly, you believe that happiness is a destination, and a place to get to. This causes you to race through your life so as to get to happiness.In an effort to get to some sacred place you overlook the beautiful ordinary, and you fail to see what is here already.Your searching is a form of blindness.
3. Not Now:The search for happiness implies that happiness is in the future, and not now.Mistakenly, you put all of your efforts into a happy future that is apparently on its way.Meanwhile, you live in the not-now. You use all of your “nows” as stepping stones to get you to the next moment, and the next.You have no time to be happy, right now.You hope to be happy soon, but your future ends up being the same as what you are doing now.
4. To Objectify:If you believe that happiness is outside of you, you can’t help but objectify happiness.This means you end up defining happiness as an “it” or a “thing” that exists in other places and in other people. This objectification encourages you to go shopping for happiness.Instead of being happy, you try to have happiness by attracting it, catching it, buying it, and keeping it.True happiness is not another coffee machine!
5. To Find: The search for happiness can be never-ending because searching is not the same as finding.At some point on your life-journey, you have to be willing to stop being a searcher, and be a finder.For example, instead of searching for love, find out how loving you can be. And, instead of searching for your purpose, choose one.And, instead of seeking after happiness, find within yourself a willingness and openness to be happy now, and to share your happiness with the world.
Ironically, it’s only when you give up the search for happiness that you actually find happiness.So, just for today, try this simple experiment.Make it your intention to find happiness today. Stop and recognize your true nature.Appreciate where you are right here.Enjoy this moment right now.Choose to be instead of to have.And be willing to see that happiness cannot be found in the world until you are willing to share it first.
I’m in Milan, Italy today coaching a team of leaders who are responsible for three global brands that are each the No.1 brand in their field.
We began the day by reviewing the question, “What is success?”As ever, the conversation was interesting, informative, and helpful. “What is success?” is a good question. After that, we explored the question, “What is REAL success?”This time the conversation went to a whole new level.It was illuminating, energizing, and revelatory.“What is REAL success?” is a great question.
Exploring “What is REAL success?” is an invitation to dive deeper into what really moves you, inspires you, touches you, engages you, and helps you to feel most alive and on purpose.I love this question.To finish the session, we each made a list of 5 key measures that help us to identify REAL success.Here are my five measures:
1.Love:Love is success.Love is happiness. Love is my purpose.Love is the whole point of everything.And whatever I do, I do it for love.The more loving I am, the more successful I feel.
2.Oneness:I feel an abiding sense of oneness with my creator, with my soul, with my family, with my friends, with humanity, and with nature.I am inspired and sustained by Oneness.
3.Forgiveness: I gladly let go of all grievances, regrets, wounds, rejections, and disappointments that happened once upon a time.Forgiveness helps me to live in the present tense.
4.Grace: I notice how I am helped everyday – by angels seen and unseen - in a hundred thousand different ways. Right place; right time. I gladly accept the universal help that is always on offer to me.
5.Gratitude: I don’t wait for my life to get better before I start to practice gratitude.The more grateful I am, the wealthier I feel. Gratitude is a miracle because it shows me that it’s all here now.
OK, those are my five measures.Writing them down feels great.Totally affirming.Now it’s your turn.What are your five key measures that help you to identify REAL success?Grab a pen and paper, and start writing.
If someone was to ask you, “Are you an entrepreneur?” what would you say? “Yes” or “No?” “Maybe” is not an option. If your answer is “Yes,” how so? What makes you an entrepreneur? Be specific now! How would you describe the tell-tale signs of entrepreneurial spirit in you?
If your answer is “No,” I recommend that you take a closer look at your life, your work, and your relationships. Maybe entrepreneurship is so natural to you that you haven’t thought of giving a name to it. It’s just who you are; and you just do it!
On September 23rd, I will present a master-class on Unconditional Success & Happiness to the Inspired Entrepreneur Group, in central London. I am particularly excited about this event, as my long-time friend Nick Williams is one of the founders of the Inspired Entrepreneur Group. Nick is one of the world’s most eloquent and passionate thought-leaders on inspiration, purpose, and, entrepreneurship. Nick not only talks and writes about inspiration; he is an inspiration. Anyone who has met Nick, will tell you so.
So what is an entrepreneur? It sounds a bit French, doesn’t it! And what is the entrepreneurial spirit? Well, here are ten symptoms that I have come up with which might help you to recognize it in you and release it even more into our life.
Ten Symptoms of Entrepreneurial Spirit.
1. An entrepreneur knows that the real world is made up not of particles, but possibility. 2. An entrepreneur sees that the world is a cause, and we are the effect. 3. An entrepreneur realizes that you have to be what you want in order to get what you want. 4. An entrepreneur doesn’t get caught up in the search for happiness; they simply follow their joy. 5. An entrepreneur doesn’t have a job; they have a purpose. 6. An entrepreneur doesn’t wait for life to happen; they begin. 7. An entrepreneur has a basic trust that all honest endeavours receive a grant of unconditional universal support. 8. An entrepreneur rides the creative waves of the cosmos, and sometimes they fall off, but they always get back on again. 9. An entrepreneur prays for help every step of the way. 10. An entrepreneur participates wholeheartedly in the miracle of creation and this is what helps them to grow.
Today is the official UK launch date of Be Happy. It’s published by Hay House UK, and Jo Burgess in publicity is keeping me very busy doing articles and interviews for radio, press, TV, and online. As a result we are busy updating the Media Appearances section at www.robertholden.org and www.behappy.net. Do check it out.
What is your definition of a happy life? Are you living it? Think carefully on this because your definition of happiness will influence every other significant decision in your life. For example, if you think happiness is outside you, you will make happiness into a search, a catch, or a reward that you must earn. If, however, you know happiness is inside you then happiness becomes a compass, a teacher, and an enabler that helps you to live your best life.
Accept Yourself
Without self-acceptance, you will limit and block how much happiness, prosperity, love, and success you will enjoy. The miracle of self-acceptance is that if you are willing to accept happiness already exists in you, you will begin to experience more happiness around you. The law of acceptance is what activates the law of attraction. Being willing to accept yourself is the first step to bringing out the best in yourself.
Follow Your Joy
There is a world of difference between searching for happiness and following your joy. Following your joy is about listening to your heart’s desires, noticing what truly inspires you, and recognizing your soul’s purpose. A good starting point is to reflect on the question “When am I at my happiest?” People who follow their joy discover a depth of talent and creativity that inspires us all.
Anna Pasternak (pictured left), author and journalist, attended the recent Real More workshop held over two days in central London. She has written a personal account of her experience that was published in the Daily Mail on August 24th. Her article is entitled “More Please: More money, more security, more certainty... would it really make us any happier?” Anna’s trademark style is hugely personal, insightful, and witty. Whatever she writes about she always gets to the heart of the matter. Her article is a great read.
Have you heard of the term “static happiness?” Ever since happiness researchers have measured happiness and well-being levels they have noticed an interesting phenomenon that is, in spite of the fact that we have more of everything we say we want we are not any happier. For example, in the US, when people were asked in 1940 to score their happiness, the average answer was 7.5 out of 10. Most recently, the average answer is 7.2 out of 10. There are similar scores for the UK, Japan, Australia and other countries.
Try this exercise: take a moment to score how happy you were, on average, from 0 to 10, when you were 7 years old. For example, 7.5 out of 10. Next, score how happy you were when you were 16 years old, 21 years old, 5 years ago, last year, and today. What do your scores tell you about your relationship to happiness? Are you happier today than before? Are you suffering from “static happiness?” And what about the future? How happy do you think you will be in one year’s time? And in five year’s time?
What is the real more that would help you to be happier - starting from now? Think not just about “getting” and “having” and “attracting” and “receiving”; but also about “being” and “giving” and “noticing” and “appreciating.” Give this important question some of your best attention. You have the answer within you right now. As Anna Pasternak highlights in her article: the key to happiness isn’t more stuff; it’s more clarity.
The Real More workshop received rave reviews, and we will definitely be running it again next year. Dates will be announced soon.
I am in Las Vegas this weekend to give the opening keynote at the annual conference for the International Enneagram Association (IEA).I feel honoured to be asked to give the keynote and I am looking forward to taking in a number of lectures given by leading teachers of the Enneagram including Russ Hudson, Jessica Dibb, David Daniels, Helen Palmer, Tom Condon, and Marika Borg.
My friend Marika Borg introduced me to the Enneagram one fine day in Helsinki in 2003.I consider the Enneagram to be one of the most effective psycho-spiritual models for healing and happiness that I have encountered.I feel the Enneagram is a great blessing in my life.It has helped me to understand myself better, and also to love and appreciate others more.It is also integral to my work with Success Intelligence and The Happiness Project.
My Enneagram highlights include:a weekend workshop led by Marika Borg at my in-laws’ home for family and friends; the Riso & Hudson Enneagram training program shared with Avril Carson, Ben Renshaw, Lizzie Prior (my sister-in-law) and Evie Prior (my mother-in-law); and also one particular, life-enhancing conversation with my brother, David.And the journey continues – starting this weekend at the IEA annual conference.
