5 Key Measures of REAL Success

I’m in Milan, Italy today coaching a team of leaders who are responsible for three global brands that are each the No.1 brand in their field.

We began the day by reviewing the question, “What is success?”  As ever, the conversation was interesting, informative, and helpful.  “What is success?” is a good question.  After that, we explored the question, “What is REAL success?”  This time the conversation went to a whole new level.  It was illuminating, energizing, and revelatory.  “What is REAL success?” is a great question.

Exploring “What is REAL success?” is an invitation to dive deeper into what really moves you, inspires you, touches you, engages you, and helps you to feel most alive and on purpose.  I love this question.  To finish the session, we each made a list of 5 key measures that help us to identify REAL success.  Here are my five measures:

1.    Love:  Love is success.  Love is happiness. Love is my purpose.  Love is the whole point of everything.  And whatever I do, I do it for love.  The more loving I am, the more successful I feel.

2.    Oneness:  I feel an abiding sense of oneness with my creator, with my soul, with my family, with my friends, with humanity, and with nature.  I am inspired and sustained by Oneness.

3.    Forgiveness: I gladly let go of all grievances, regrets, wounds, rejections, and disappointments that happened once upon a time.    Forgiveness helps me to live in the present tense.

4.    Grace: I notice how I am helped everyday – by angels seen and unseen - in a hundred thousand different ways. Right place; right time. I gladly accept the universal help that is always on offer to me.

5.    Gratitude: I don’t wait for my life to get better before I start to practice gratitude.  The more grateful I am, the wealthier I feel. Gratitude is a miracle because it shows me that it’s all here now.

OK, those are my five measures.  Writing them down feels great.  Totally affirming.  Now it’s your turn.  What are your five key measures that help you to identify REAL success?  Grab a pen and paper, and start writing.  

10 Symptoms of Entrepreneurial Spirit

If someone was to ask you, “Are you an entrepreneur?” what would you say?
“Yes” or “No?”
“Maybe” is not an option.
If your answer is “Yes,” how so?
What makes you an entrepreneur?
Be specific now!
How would you describe the tell-tale signs of entrepreneurial spirit in you?

If your answer is “No,” I recommend that you take a closer look at your life, your work, and your relationships. Maybe entrepreneurship is so natural to you that you haven’t thought of giving a name to it. It’s just who you are; and you just do it!

On September 23rd, I will present a master-class on Unconditional Success & Happiness to the Inspired Entrepreneur Group, in central London. I am particularly excited about this event, as my long-time friend Nick Williams is one of the founders of the Inspired Entrepreneur Group. Nick is one of the world’s most eloquent and passionate thought-leaders on inspiration, purpose, and, entrepreneurship. Nick not only talks and writes about inspiration; he is an inspiration. Anyone who has met Nick, will tell you so.

So what is an entrepreneur? It sounds a bit French, doesn’t it! And what is the entrepreneurial spirit? Well, here are ten symptoms that I have come up with which might help you to recognize it in you and release it even more into our life.

Ten Symptoms of Entrepreneurial Spirit.

1. An entrepreneur knows that the real world is made up not of particles, but possibility.
2. An entrepreneur sees that the world is a cause, and we are the effect.
3. An entrepreneur realizes that you have to be what you want in order to get what you want.
4. An entrepreneur doesn’t get caught up in the search for happiness; they simply follow their joy.
5. An entrepreneur doesn’t have a job; they have a purpose.
6. An entrepreneur doesn’t wait for life to happen; they begin.
7. An entrepreneur has a basic trust that all honest endeavours receive a grant of unconditional universal support.
8. An entrepreneur rides the creative waves of the cosmos, and sometimes they fall off, but they always get back on again.
9. An entrepreneur prays for help every step of the way.
10. An entrepreneur participates wholeheartedly in the miracle of creation and this is what helps them to grow.

Poem: "Prizes of NOW"

Hello Monday morning!
It's the start of the week. Just another week, or, maybe a brand new week. Our choice, I imagine. Monday mornings are the perfect time to think again about what is success and what is happiness. Ten minutes is enough to clear the mind, to listen to your heart, and to align yourself with what is truly important. But I urge you to do it before the busyness kicks in and before the daily rush takes you away from yourself. Do it now. To support you in your meditation here is a poem I wrote called "Prizes of NOW."


This constant busyness is not really
my life.

The urge to keep moving forward
is not it either.

The daily schedule is mostly a
distraction, truth be told.

If I was to stop, I mean really stop,
I fear I might lose my way. But I
am already lost.

If I was to stop, I mean totally stop,
I fear I might fall apart. But my
life is already in pieces.

If I was stop, stop, stop,
I fear I might die.
And yet, because I will not stop,
I fear I am not really alive.

It’s in the spaces that exist in the
chains of busyness, that
I find myself again.

It’s when I stand still, even for just
a moment, that I win the
prizes of now.

It’s when I am willing not to be too
busy that I really start
to live.

Relationships - The Heart of Success

Today the Success Intelligence team is hosting a half-day master- class on Success Intelligence in the heart of London. Ben Renshaw and I are co-presenting. This event also coincides with a celebration for the launch of our S.I. website this year. One of the themes we will explore today is relationships are the heart of success.

So many of us have grown up with parents who sacrificed themselves for the family, and who sacrificed their relationships with family, friends, and partners for their work. Our challenge is to make sure we do not repeat the same mistakes. Success does require sacrifice. Specifically, it requires sacrificing what is not important for what is. With that in mind, I invite you to read the following inventory, taken from my book Success Intelligence.

In the name of success,
how many bedtime stories am I prepared to miss?

In the name of success,
how many family dinners am I happy to give up?

In the name of success,
how many dates with my partner can I afford to lose?

In the name of success,
how many friendships am I willing to discard?

In the name of success,
how many weekends have I resigned to throw away?

In the name of success,
how many school plays am I prepared to miss?

In the name of success,
how many kisses good bye will I not make time for?

In the name of success,
how many beautiful sunsets together will I sacrifice?

Success is a REAL Yes!

Today I am giving a 1-day workshop on success intelligence and the inner-life of a leader. The workshop is taking place in Manhattan, and is being hosted by One Spirit. One of the themes I will be exploring is “The Real Yes.”

I believe a leader is anyone who senses the big YES in their belly and immediately goes into labour; I believe a leader is someone who feels the deep YES in their heart and dares to follow it; I believe a leader is everyone who listens to the true YES in their mind and trusts it as their guide; and I believe a leader is who you are when you identify the real YES of your soul and really live it.

Leadership is receptivity; leadership is heartfelt; leadership is listening; leadership is being who you really are. So what is your real YES? What is it that you really say YES to?

On this note, I offer you something I once wrote called “The Real Yes.”

I took a chance.
And, yes,
I took a risk.

And, yes,
I gave it a go,
And, yes helped me
get past "No."

I can,
I know I can.
I'm able,
I know I'm able.

I will,
I know I will.
No longer am I
standing still.

I heard myself say,
"but," and "no," and "won't,"
"maybe," and "if," and "only,"
and "shan't", but it was "Yes!"
that got me past "can't."

"Yes" brought out the best in me.
I said "Yes!"
A real "Yes!"

Valentine's Day: The Love Dedication

A few years ago a journalist interviewed me for an article on the psychology of success. At the end of a very stimulating interview, the journalist asked if I would e-mail an answer to one final question: “What is your ultimate secret to success?”

After meditating for a while on my “ultimate secret of success,” I wrote something called the “Love Dedication.” This dedication appears in my book Success Intelligence. I thought it might be a good idea to share it again today, on Valentine's Day.


Before you dedicate your life
to a person, a marriage, a family;
to a corporation, a political party,
a peace campaign;
to a religion, a revolution, a
spiritual path;
make one other dedication first.
First dedicate yourself to LOVE.
Decide to let Love be your
intention, your purpose and
your point.
And then let Love inspire you,
support you, and guide you
in every other dedication
you make thereafter.

Success Intelligence: Your Real Work

On January 28th-30th, I co-facilitated with Ben Renshaw and Avril Carson a public workshop called Success Intelligence: Living a Life you Love. Approximately 50 people attended the workshop. They were from all walks of life including media, politics, art, health-care, education, and business. For three days, we immersed ourselves in a rich inquiry into the nature of authentic success.

In the week before the workshop, I came across some words attributed to Roger Ebert. They read: “What you do instead of your work is your real work.” These words made me stop in my tracks. I felt an uneasy sensation in my stomach. At the same time a loud “bong” sounded off inside my head, one like you hear at the start of a Universal Pictures movie. I used Roger’s words to do an on-the-spot inventory on my life. The first question on my inventory was: What is the real work of my life?

In the Success Intelligence workshop, I shared Roger Ebert’s words with the group. Together we embarked up on an inquiry into the real work of our lives. We all acknowledged that it is so easy in our manic society, with our busy lifestyles, and our hyperactive work cultures, to confuse busyness with purpose, adrenalin with wisdom, and activity with genuine accomplishment. And, therefore, the question What is the real work of my life? is imperative.

On the final afternoon of the 3-day workshop, we shared with each other our personal visions for what is our real work. The sharings were moving, emotional, honest, and inspiring. We were teachers to one another. And we all, in some way, gained courage, hope, and clarity about what is meaningful success, valuable success, and real success.

I invite you to take a few minutes to stop the work you are doing and inquire, What is the real work of my life? Think about not just your job of work, but also your family, YOU, your spiritual faith, and your life as a whole.

What is the real work of your life?


P.S. Due to the high interest in this workshop, we will be hosting another one later this year, in the Autumn. Dates will be announced shortly.

Leadership NOW: Lessons from a Leadership Retreat

I have just returned from a leadership retreat, held in the South of England. My role was to facilitate a conversation over two days that explored the essence of what leadership is and how we can all be better leaders.

The venue for the retreat was Leeds Castle, set in the heart of the Kent countryside. This beautiful, Saxon-built castle features an eclectic mix of period architecture from across the centuries. It was once home to King Edward I, founder of the British Parliament, and also King Henry V, who is frequently researched by scholars of leadership.

The assembled group, about 20 of us in total, was also rather eclectic, featuring CEOs, Chairmen, Presidents, Vice-Presidents, Senior Partners, General Council, and knighted captains of industry. The conversation flowed well. Chatham House Rule ensured both confidentiality and honesty. We shared our personal stories. We reflected on triumphs and defeats. We identified lessons learned. We talked about what inspires us, and why we feel called to lead.

As the retreat drew to a close, we acknowledged to each other that we had participated in a conversation full of rich insights and practical help for leading in these especially challenging times. Here is a brief excerpt from my personal notes, which I will call, Five Lessons for Leadership NOW.

Lesson #1: Leadership is not a position; it’s an attitude.
Everyone is a potential leader. A leader is anyone who is willing to “take a lead” in any situation. A leader recognizes that they create the world they live in. The world is an effect; not a cause. We are the ones who cause the effect. And the world changes, when we do. Therefore, one person really can make a difference. An effective leader usually has a good idea of the difference they want to make.

Lesson #2: Leadership looks after the Spiritual DNA.
A leader is someone who is willing to dig deep inside to know who they really are, and what their life is for. They are in search of the “true self”; they are inner-directed; they look after the identity of the organization; they look after the Spiritual DNA; they grow the signature strengths; and they help individuals and organizations achieve authentic success.

Lesson #3: A leader has a vision, and teaches people to see.
A leader has a vision, not just for the next three months, but over the long-term too. They see what is necessary now, and they can also see something of the future. Leaders are the custodians of the vision, and they keep the vision alive in their own mind and in the minds of others. Leadership is about seeing the possibility for something that might not exist yet. A leader is someone who sees possibility in any situation – a possibility for more love, more truth, more honesty, for instance – and thereby helps to bring it into existence.

Lesson #4: It is the JOY of leadership that sustains you.
Leadership is not always easy. You are often the first to fall, the first to be criticized, the first to be accused, the first to be attacked. AND, you have to be willing to be the first to get back on your feet, the first to learn, the first to forgive, and the first to move on. It can be easy to forget “the joy” of what you do; but when you remember “the joy” it can sustain you in all manner of ways.

Lesson #5: Leaders grow, and they keep on growing.
A leader is someone who understands that “we” cannot grow if “I” will not grow. A marriage cannot grow, if I will not grow. A friendship cannot grow, if I will not grow. A team cannot grow, if I will not grow. An organization cannot grow, if I will not grow. Peter Drucker said, “Leaders grow; they are not made.” A leader wants to grow, and that is what makes others want to grow too. Everyday, think about what inspires you, what is real, and what you aspire to – right now.

Barack Obama - Leadership, Happiness & Success

Today, I watched, along with everyone else in the world, the inauguration of the 44th American President, Barack Obama. Ever since Mr Obama was nominated for the Democratic candidacy, he has conducted himself as a genuine and principled person. Mr Obama has inspired a level of faith and hope in people that is frankly uncommon in politicians. Today, America got a new President, and, even more importantly, the world has a new leader. Because of Mr Obama’s breadth of vision, and his abiding sense of purpose, I believe he will serve the world well. And, therefore, I wish you, Mr Obama, and your family, every success.

The day after Barack Obama won the Presidential election, Alice Walker, the Pulitzer Prise-winning author, poet and activist, wrote the President-elect an open letter. I was deeply moved by Alice Walker’s letter, and have since shared it with hundreds of people who have attended my seminars. In her letter, Alice Walker offers wise counsel to Mr Obama on the challenges of leadership and the difficult times ahead. You can read the full transcript at The Root, or, if you like, see her read the letter on Democracy NOW, a daily radio TV show.

Here, I will share an excerpt from Alice Walker’s letter, which highlights the integral relationship between personal happiness and true success. It reads:

I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.

When I read these words, I felt like Alice Walker had written them for me. In my work with Success Intelligence and The Happiness Project, I have learned that, happiness creates success. In other words, when you cultivate a sense of joy inside yourself it helps you to access a whole new level of inspiration, talent, resilience, and support. Success can lead to happiness; but most of all, happiness leads to success. Psychology research backs this theory. Longitudinal studies, which follow the well-being of people over many years, show that inner happiness helps to promote career success, loving relationships, good health, financial prosperity, and a rich spiritual life. Your inner happiness is the key to authentic success.

Alice Walker goes on to talk about leadership, forgiveness, and the need to lighten and brighten our world. She finishes her open letter to Barack Obama with the words: “We are the ones we have been waiting for.” Her letter is really addressed to us all.

While Mr Obama takes his Presidential oath, and makes his acceptance speeches, let us use this occasion to reflect on how we can take a lead in our own lives. On some level, we are all world leaders, because on some level we all create the world. My prayer for today, therefore, is that we may all step forward so as to be even more of the person we came to be.

And so be it.