Finding Happiness: Article for Oprah.com

On Friday this week I will wrap up another Be Happy 8-week happiness course, held in London, UK. The end of the program always feels bittersweet to me. I am already grieving and I am so grateful for the journey we have been on. And it’s not over yet!

For the last eight weeks a group of fifty people have participated in a deep inquiry into life’s #1 goal: happiness. The theme for this year has been, giving up the search for happiness. In particular, we have explored the difference between “searching for happiness” and “following your joy.” The “searching” paradigm takes you outside of yourself and focuses forever on the future; the “following” paradigm helps you to meet yourself and to live more fully in the present tense.

Over eight weeks we have worked our way through a series of workshops, home study modules, daily e-mails, and have also participated on an online discussion board. We have explored the #1 Happiness Principle, The Self-Acceptance Formula, Healing Unhappiness, The Happiness Scale, 100 Gratitudes, the Receiving Meditation, the Forgiveness Principle, our Family Story about happiness, and much more. It has been a rich inquiry, and I am grateful to everyone who has participated.

Stephanie Mitchell for Oprah.com interviewed me recently about the Be Happy 8-week program. Her article is entitled Find True Happiness. In the interview Stephanie outlines ten ways to be a finder, not a searcher. She captures the spirit of my work very well.

The next Be Happy 8-week course will be held in London, in October-November 2010. You can book your place now.

Ending the Search for Happiness

Today is the start of a new eight-week happiness course, called Be Happy. Over the next two months, a group of approximately fifty people will gather in Central London to participate in a journey that will explore one of life’s most cherished and elusive goals - happiness. This year, one of the major themes we will investigate is, giving up the search for happiness.

I wonder, has it ever occurred to you that the search for happiness can be a major block to happiness? In the beginning, the search for happiness seems honest enough. However, I would ask you, how long do you really need to search for? One week? One month? One more year? One more workshop? My first spiritual mentor, an Indian yogi and philosopher, insisted that the search for happiness can be over in the blink of an eye, if, that is, you accept you are what we seek.

How exactly might the search for happiness be a block to happiness? Here are five insights for you to consider.

1. Outside You: The search for happiness arises from the erroneous belief that happiness is outside you. This displacement takes happiness away from its proper place, just as the search for happiness also takes you away from yourself. Happiness is not outside you. Until you accept that happiness is your true nature you will keep searching for happiness in all the wrong places.

2. Not Here: The search for happiness conditions you to think that happiness is somewhere else other than where you are right now. Mistakenly, you believe that happiness is a destination, and a place to get to. This causes you to race through your life so as to get to happiness. In an effort to get to some sacred place you overlook the beautiful ordinary, and you fail to see what is here already. Your searching is a form of blindness.

3. Not Now: The search for happiness implies that happiness is in the future, and not now. Mistakenly, you put all of your efforts into a happy future that is apparently on its way. Meanwhile, you live in the not-now. You use all of your “nows” as stepping stones to get you to the next moment, and the next. You have no time to be happy, right now. You hope to be happy soon, but your future ends up being the same as what you are doing now.

4. To Objectify: If you believe that happiness is outside of you, you can’t help but objectify happiness. This means you end up defining happiness as an “it” or a “thing” that exists in other places and in other people. This objectification encourages you to go shopping for happiness. Instead of being happy, you try to have happiness by attracting it, catching it, buying it, and keeping it. True happiness is not another coffee machine!

5. To Find: The search for happiness can be never-ending because searching is not the same as finding. At some point on your life-journey, you have to be willing to stop being a searcher, and be a finder. For example, instead of searching for love, find out how loving you can be. And, instead of searching for your purpose, choose one. And, instead of seeking after happiness, find within yourself a willingness and openness to be happy now, and to share your happiness with the world.

Ironically, it’s only when you give up the search for happiness that you actually find happiness. So, just for today, try this simple experiment. Make it your intention to find happiness today. Stop and recognize your true nature. Appreciate where you are right here. Enjoy this moment right now. Choose to be instead of to have. And be willing to see that happiness cannot be found in the world until you are willing to share it first.

Oprah.com: 10 Keys to Finding Happiness

Today is the official UK launch date of Be Happy. It’s published by Hay House UK, and Jo Burgess in publicity is keeping me very busy doing articles and interviews for radio, press, TV, and online. As a result we are busy updating the Media Appearances section at www.robertholden.org and www.behappy.net. Do check it out.

Today, Oprah.Com has published an article of mine called 10 Ways to Finding Happiness. If you want to read more, click here. To wet your appetite here are my first three suggestions:

Define Happiness

What is your definition of a happy life? Are you living it? Think carefully on this because your definition of happiness will influence every other significant decision in your life. For example, if you think happiness is outside you, you will make happiness into a search, a catch, or a reward that you must earn. If, however, you know happiness is inside you then happiness becomes a compass, a teacher, and an enabler that helps you to live your best life.

Accept Yourself

Without self-acceptance, you will limit and block how much happiness, prosperity, love, and success you will enjoy. The miracle of self-acceptance is that if you are willing to accept happiness already exists in you, you will begin to experience more happiness around you. The law of acceptance is what activates the law of attraction. Being willing to accept yourself is the first step to bringing out the best in yourself.

Follow Your Joy

There is a world of difference between searching for happiness and following your joy. Following your joy is about listening to your heart’s desires, noticing what truly inspires you, and recognizing your soul’s purpose. A good starting point is to reflect on the question “When am I at my happiest?” People who follow their joy discover a depth of talent and creativity that inspires us all.

Good Morning America! - 5 Ways to Be Happy NOW

I have just come home after being interviewed by THE Diane Sawyer of Good Morning America in New York. The interview was a JOY to do and they have already uploaded it on the GMA website: BE HAPPY - RELEASE THE POWER OF HAPPINESS IN YOU

The great thing was that my wife, Hollie and our daughter, Bo, got to be in the studio while I was on air! And so too was Ian Lynch, the Happiness Project Office Manager, whose birthday it is today! Happy Birth day Ian!

Interview: Be Happy for KUSI San Diego TV

Over the last few weeks I have been travelling across America giving talks, workshops, and interviews on my latest book, Be Happy. Some of my personal highlights include visits to the I Can Do It! Conference in San Diego, the Unity Church in Houston, and Kripalu in Massachusetts.

Happiness is an important subject to us all, and this is especially true now in these difficult economic times.  Media interest in my work has been very high.  Attendances for my talks and workshops on Be Happy have been healthy.  And on the day of its launch, Be Happy went straight into the top 100 on Amazon. 

The recession is causing us to rethink our life.  In particular, it is making us think what true happiness is, what blocks our happiness, and also what can help us to enjoy greater happiness.  To see another recent TV interview I did for KUSI TV in San Diego, click here. 

Interview: Kripalu and Fox TV

I have just enjoyed a wonderful weekend at Kripalu, a retreat center for yoga, health, and holistic living, located in the Berkshires of western Massachusetts.  I was there to give a three-day workshop on Be Happy.  My wife Hollie and daughter Bo came too.  We loved it.  Thank you Denise Barack, for the invite.  Thank you to those who attended the workshop.  And thank you to everyone who made us feel so welcome.

The Kripalu program is packed with inspiring offerings on health and wellness, science and spirituality, creativity and yoga.  While I was there I had the pleasure of meeting Bob Thurman who was facilitating a workshop on Everyday Yoga and also Michael Beckwith who was teaching on Spiritual Liberation.  I would definitely recommend Kripalu.  Great programs.  Great location.  Great people.  Great food!

On Sunday afternoon, I made a trip over to Boston, to do an interview for Fox25 on Be Happy.  It’s five minutes long, and you can watch it here.