Talking to God About Love

Here’s what happened: I’m in the back of a cab, on my way from San Diego airport to Encinitas. It’s early morning. I’ve just flown in from San Francisco where I was appearing the night before on KQED for my PBS show Shift Happens! I’m feeling tired. I’m looking forward to taking a shower. I haven’t done my morning meditation yet. So, I decide to speak to God.

I said, “Hey God, let’s talk about love.”

God said, “I’d love a peanut butter smoothie.”

I said, “Love is the greatest thing.”

“The only thing,” said God.

“I need to remember that more,” I said.

“I can help you with that,” said God.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I like my peanut butter smoothie made with  Soya milk,” said God.

“I love that I can talk to you about everything  God,” I said.

“You are always talking to me, even when you  are only talking to yourself,” said God.

“Wow,” I said.

“And when I’m talking to you, it’s really you who is doing the talking,” said God.

“That must be why we both like peanut butter smoothies,” I said.

“Made with Soya milk,” said God.

“We’re really just the same thing,” I said.

“The only thing,” said God.

“One love,” I said.

“One love,” said God.

Falling in Love

Happy Valentines Day to you.  Today is a good day to pay attention to your relationship to love, and to commit to being the most loving person you can be.  Make it your intention today to love everyone.  Allow yourself to let love in today.  Don’t leave yourself out.  Loves excludes no one, after all.  To mark this occasion, here is a poem, Falling in Love, which I put inside a card for Hollie this morning. 

You can fall in love with the same person
for the first time at least ten thousand
times, if you play it right.
And that’s just in the
beginning.

After that, you can fall in love with each
other more times than you can count.
And each time it will feel more like
love than before.

Eventually, you will fall in love together
as often as you want.
And even more than that, because
you won’t have a choice
about it.

The last time you fall in love will
be when you finally let love do
away with you and me and him
and her and all of us.

In the end, only love remains.

Ha! It was love falling in love
with love all along.

New Beginnings

It’s nearly 6pm on New Year’s Eve. Hollie, Bo, Christopher and I have just finished our last supper of 2012. Hollie has taken the children upstairs for a bath before bedtime. I’m cleaning up in the kitchen (or I will after I’ve written this blog). The house is full of stillness. It feels like there’s an angel in the house. The stillness fells the same as the pause that happens between each exhalation and inhalation. It’s like the whole world is taking a deep breath. We are all breathing out, and letting go. We are all breathing in, and getting ready.

At 10am, Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), the New Year celebrations begin. The people of Christmas Island and Samoa send out a wave across the planet. At 11am (GMT), the people of New Zealand catch the wave, and they then pass it on. After that, for every hour, on the hour, another country in another time zone, rides the wave. Celebrations happen all over the world: fireworks light up the sky, people kiss and hug, crowds cheer in the New Year. This is a time for remembrance and celebration, honouring the passing of what was, and welcoming in the new.

Now is a time for new beginnings. It’s a time to remember what is important, and to commit again to what is real and true. And so I like to make time in the first days of a new year to think about what a new beginning really means for me. One way I do this is to take a blank piece of paper – a perfect symbol for a new beginning – and at the top of the paper I write a sentence like “A new beginning means to me . . . “ I then complete the sentence a few times, watching for the responses that feel most meaningful and true.

Here are some highlights from my inquiry so far: A new beginning means to me . . .

• Committing to my daily spiritual practice.
• Doing my daily “A Course in Miracles” lessons.
• Saying “Yes” to God’s Will.
• Listening to my heart more.
• Being a loving husband.
• Writing more poetry.
• Being a loving father.
• Writing my parenting journal.
• Learning to juggle.
• Committing to my daily yoga.
• Being a loving son.
• Letting go of all grievances.
• Looking after my physical health.
• Being a loving brother.
• Playing my guitar more.
• Being a more loving friend.
• Cooking new, fabulous, healthy recipes.
• Playing more golf than in 2012.
• Being a more loving person.

I wish you a happy new year, full of new beginnings.

Be Happy – An 8-Day Happiness Program

I have created for Oprah.com an eight-day mini-version of the Be Happy program. I have selected eight exercises for you, one for each day, to be completed over eight consecutive days.  I recommend that you give each exercise at least 15 minutes a day.  If possible do this program with a buddy, as this will give you a chance to get into some rich conversations and also offer you extra support.

Here is Day One for you:  Click HERE to see the entire course on Oprah.com

Day 1:  Defining True Happiness
What is your definition of a happy life?  Are you living it?  Do you remember to include yourself in your definition?  Think carefully on this because your definition of happiness will influence every other significant decision in your life.  For instance, if you think happiness is outside you, you will turn happiness into a search, a pursuit, or a destination; whereas if you know happiness is inside you then happiness becomes a compass, a guide, and an enabler that helps you to live a rich life.

Be Happy Exercise:  There is a world of difference between searching for happiness and following your joy.  Your first assignment is to reflect on the question “When am I at my happiest?” Identify what inspires you, nourishes you, and fans the flames of joy within.  Being clear about this will help you to be true to yourself, to be honest, to make better choices, and to have the courage to say a big YES to what really matters most to you in life.  Say “YES” to joy today.

Being a Leader

For the last two years the Success Intelligence team has been running a leadership program for 1,000 people. Today, Ben Renshaw and I are facilitating our sixth event for these leaders. Leadership is evolving now. One of the key messages of our program is: leadership is no longer the prerogative of a few; it is the responsibility of us all. 
 

Some people switch off when they see the word “Leadership”. And yet, real leadership is relevant to everyone. In essence, leadership isn’t just about titles, positions, pay grades, and a job of work; it’s much more interesting than that. Leadership is about how you show up; living from your heart; and allowing yourself to be inspired. Leadership is what helps you to “take a lead” in your life so as to create a life you want to live. Here are three more thoughts for your consideration:

1. Success is being yourself: How you show up – in your relationships, in your conversations, in your work, in your life – has a tangible influence on how you experience things. How do you feel about the idea that success is being yourself? The law of attraction begins with an understanding that you attract what you are being. Daring to be yourself is the key to attracting great things in your life. 

2. Success is being the goal: Leadership begins with an awareness that the world is an effect; not just a cause. The world would not be the way it is, if we were not being the way we are. “Being the goal” means you have to be what you want. For example, if you want more love, be more loving; if you want deeper friendships; commit to being even more of a friend. Whatever you want, be it.

3. Success is being even more of who you are: What you bring to a situation is what you are experiencing. If you think something is missing in a specific situation (a relationship, a conversation, a conflict) – it might be you. To attract more of what you truly want you have to be willing to be even more of who you really are. Where, when and with whom could you apply this principle in your life?

Being Available

I’m sitting on a plane. Seat 11D. Up above the clouds. Over the Atlantic somewhere. I’m going to the I CAN DO IT Conference in Atlanta. I feel sad to have left my family for the weekend, but I’m also happy to be participating in another wonderful Hay House event. I’m experiencing one of those poignant moments in which I sense a beautiful orchestration to our lives. As Hafiz says, “This place where you are right now God circled on a map for you.” So I say “Yes” to this wonderful journey. I say “Yes’ to this life. And I say “Yes” to making myself available to all good things.

When you make yourself available to inspiration,

inspiration makes itself available to you.

When you make yourself available to joy,

joy makes itself available to you.

When you make yourself available to peace,

peace makes itself available to you.

When you make yourself available to love,

love makes itself available to you.

When you make yourself available to your spirit,

your Spirit makes itself available to you.

When you make yourself available to God,

God makes God available to you.

When you make yourself available to Heaven,

Heaven makes Heaven available to you.

Becoming a Dad

Today our daughter Bo is five years old. Bo has been nearly five for a whole year now, so we are all super excited. Being a child is such a big adventure, and so too is being a parent. Below is a rough draft of a poem I wrote, called Becoming a Dad. Some poems are born all at once, and others become poems over time, just like children and parents become themselves over time.

You don’t just become a dad

once.

It happens many times over with

the same child.

When your child is born, you

become a dad.

And when you take your child home

for the first time, you really

become a dad.

When you rock your baby to sleep

in the early a.m. hours, you

become a dad.

When there is no one else to clean

up the sick, you really

become a dad.

And when she smiles at you,

not just with her lips, but with her

eyes and her heart, you are

anointed and blessed and you

become a dad.

Across the years, in every moment

that passes, you become a dad,

and you are given a chance to be

who you really are.

One day, as you sit there, waiting

for a business meeting to begin,

or something, it hits you. Really

hits you. Between the eyes. “I

am a dad.”

A real dad.

And as you smile to yourself, your

heart takes off, like a big balloon,

floating high into the sky.

Disappearing into Love

Happy Valentines to you. Here is a poem about love that encourages us to make every day of our life a celebration of love. I wrote it last week, and read it out for the first time at our Personal Best workshop in London last Friday. I hope you like it:

When they ask you what is your
religion, tell them that it is
love.

And if they ask you what is your
politics, tell them that it is
also love.

If they ask you what that means,
you can tell them your
philosophy is love.

If they want to know anything
else about you, tell them your
favourite occupation is
loving.

And don't forget to tell them
that your nationality is
love.

And that even your blood
group Is love.

Not everyone will stick around
to hear what you say next,
but fear not.

Family and friends may get busy
so as to pretend to forget what
you just said.

It’d drive them crazy now to know
that their blood group is also love,
that their nationality is love,
and that the real work of their
life is love.

One day they will give in, and then
their philosophy will be love,
their politics will be love,
and their religion will be love.

Love gets us all in the end.
We all of us disappear back into
love eventually.

Success in 144 Characters or Less!

Over the next five days I am co-presenting Coaching Success with Ben Renshaw. This program explores the essential principles and practices at the heart of the Success Intelligence project. The night before a workshop is always an interesting time. It’s as if the workshop has already begun. The effect of the next five days is already working on me. I feel excited, and nervous. I enjoy the anticipation, and I am anxious to get started. I notice a sense of curiosity, and also a knowing that the whole of my life is going to benefit because of what happens over the next five days.

In essence, Success Intelligence is a meditation on the question “what is success?” On Coaching Success we will look again at what true success means for each of us. One of my favourite exercises is creating definitions of success in 144 characters or less (where did I get 144 from?!). This exercise is quite a challenge. You have to be focused, clear, specific, and direct. Initially, you may draw a blank. Your first attempt may not be that great. Never mind. Keep going. One of the benefits of meditating on “what is success?” is that you will get clearer.

My success in 144 characters (or less): Success is being present in my life, living from my heart, thinking the thoughts of God, and allowing the grace of the soul to steer my course.

Your turn.

Valentine's Day: Loving Everyone

Happy Valentine’s Day to you.

Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is the day we show our love to one special person in our life. This is a lovely thing to do. That said, I feel that Valentine’s Day would be even lovelier if we made it a day to show our love to everyone in our life. Everyone must also include our self too. Maybe we could start a new tradition. Starting from today.

Below is a short poem called “Loving Everyone.”

If you want to find someone
to love,
I recommend you start
loving everyone
immediately.

Love will find you if you are
being the love
that
you
are.

If you want to learn how
to love someone
with all your
heart,
I advise you to fall in love
with everyone
a little bit
more.

Loving everyone is the key
to loving
someone.

And if you want someone
to love you
more,
I urge you to get on with it,
and to start
loving yourself.

Someone has to do it.
It may as well be you.
Show us how it is done.
So that you make it easy
for us to love
you too.

The Drama of Authenticity

“When do I feel most authentic?” This is the question I have been asking myself over the last week, in preparation for a workshop I am presenting tomorrow (Feb 1st, in Central London) with Ben Renshaw and Avril Carson called Authentic Success. Each day, for the last seven days, I have set aside 15 minutes to stop, be still, and sit with the question, “When do I feel most authentic?” Each time, I found the first five minutes or so to be very difficult: my mind would go blank, my heart wouldn’t register any feelings, and my body would get fidgety. I noticed I’d try to convince myself to cut short the fifteen minutes. Maybe I could read some inspirational quotations on authenticity instead. Someone else can do this for me.

Authenticity feels so natural, so why isn’t it easy? As I continued to sit with my inquiry, I gradually made contact with myself. It’s like I’d been away from myself, but I didn’t know it, not until just now: caught up in the habits of my personality; thinking thoughts all day long; busily trying to be someone; and putting on a face for all the other faces out there. Who is the real me? Not the personality that is manufactured in the world. The real me. Not the empty self that always wants something. The real me. Not a tinned version of a soul. The real me.

I kept sitting. I did not leave myself. I wanted to know my real thoughts. I wanted to feel my heart. I wanted to breathe more deeply again. My inquiry into “When do I feel most authentic?” felt frustrating and delightful; mysterious and illuminating; healing and joyful. I have long believed that being authentic is the key to success, happiness, love and all good things; but I have also experienced the fear of authenticity and so on. Such is the drama of authenticity. Such Is our daily challenge; and our daily choice. Success is recognizing who you really are; and happiness is letting yourself be you.

I hand the inquiry over to you now. When do you feel most authentic? Don’t let anyone else do your homework for you. Take fifteen minutes to stop, be still, and make contact with yourself.

VALENTINE'S DAY: To Love Someone

Happy Valentine's Day!

May TODAY be a day in which every individual, and the whole wide world, chooses love over fear, love over hate, and love over attack.

Below is a poem I wrote, called "To Love Someone" when I was putting together the vision for a forthcoming workshop called "Love and Fear."

How do you really love

some

one?

In a way that they really

know they

are

loved?

And in a way that you

know that

this is

love?

I can’t tell you that.

That is not my job.

Only love can

teach you how to

love.

Therefore, this is what

you must do.

Pray to Love, like you

would pray to God.

Say to Love, “Show me

how to love this

person.”

Say to Love, “I am

finished. Now it is

Your turn to have a

go.”

Say to Love, “I am

Yours. Please use me.

Please help me to be a

presence of love on this

planet.”

Keep petitioning to Love.

Go straight to the top.

Accept no other teacher.

Let Love teach you to

love.

Eventually, spiritual e-mails

will land in your heart.

Internal memos, sent by

Love, will guide you and

direct you.

Love notes will write

themselves

into your

life.

And Love will show you

how to

love.

Daily Express: Discover Your Joyful Side

The DAILY EXPRESS published an article today, “10 Steps to Happiness”, that outlines my ten tips for facing blue Monday, the economic recession, and for rediscovering your joyful side. Here is the article in full. Enjoy.

UNTIL recently psychologists dismissed happiness as a “pleasurable emotion with no evolutionary value”. The theory was happiness feels good but it isn’t useful. However research reveals happiness has a powerful effect on the brain that helps you to think broadly, to come up with creative solutions and makes you generally more resilient.

In short happiness helps you to bring out the best in yourself. Follow my tips below to rediscover your joyful side.

1 The big rethink

Real, enduring happiness cannot be bought. Research confirms that money is important for basic needs like food, rent and clothes. However the link between higher income and increased happiness has been described in one study as “surprisingly weak” and “virtually negligible”. In fact a third of all millionaires are less happy than the national average.

2 Have a reality check

Work out what is truly important to you. Research shows people with consistently high happiness scores prioritise their life according to the things they value. They’ve worked out what is most important to them and don’t allow themselves to get sidetracked.

3 Do you need more?

In recent decades our purchasing power has more than doubled which means we can afford to buy more stuff than ever and yet more stuff hasn’t made us happier.

To be happy you have to know what you really want. After all, you can never have enough of what you didn’t want in the first place. True happiness isn’t a thing or a commodity, it’s something you cultivate and share.

4 Discover life’s riches

Money is important but it is not everything. Make a list of everything in your life that is more precious to you than money. Think also about everything you already have that money can’t buy. Obvious examples are family, friends, health, laughter, creative hobbies, your imagination and spirituality.

5 Be positive

Research shows that life circumstances influence your happiness by only 10 per cent in the long-term. Obviously life events have a short-term effect. A loss of job or divorce can be devastating. Winning the lottery or falling in love can be wonderful at least initially but the key to being happy in the long‑term is not circumstances but attitude. Set an intention to enjoy today 10 per cent more than yesterday. Back up your intention with three specific actions like calling a friend, smiling more and doing something you love.

6 Treasure relationships

Investing time, energy and attention in your most important relationships will increase your happiness. A recent study confirms that having rich and satisfying social relationships is the key difference between people who are quite happy and those who are very happy.

7 Make time for fun

Most of us are so preoccupied with life’s chores that we can sometimes forget to enjoy ourselves. Make a commitment to having fun. See your best friends and make time for your hobbies and passions.

8 Count your blessings

Keep a gratitude journal. Write down at least three things a day you are either thankful for, made you smile or genuinely inspired you.

9 Have faith

People who have a strong spiritual faith report greater than average happiness. Research shows practices like meditation, prayer, yoga and tai chi can help you to de-stress and feel more balanced. Most importantly, a spiritual faith encourages us to look past our individual egos.

10 Look after yourself

To be happy you must never compromise on your health. Getting enough exercise and sleep and eating a healthy diet will improve your mood and energy levels.

To order Be Happy by Robert Holden (Hay House, £9.99) with free UK delivery, call 0871 988 8367 (10p/minute from BT landlines) with your card details or send a cheque payable to Express Newspapers to: The Express Bookshop, PO Box 200, Falmouth TR11 4WJ or order via expressbookshop.com

SOUL NOURISHMENT: An Inspiring Start to 2010

What do you WISH for yourself in 2010?  How would you like to grow?  What would you like to experience?  What do you want to say YES to?  And, most importantly, what help do you need to make your wishes come true? 

I have just received notice from my publisher Hay House of a unique online seminar called SOUL NOURISHMENT that is designed to help you to start your year with a flourish and to help you keep flourishing through 2010.   Soul Nourishment features eight lectures by some of the world’s leading experts in the field of mind-body medicine and spiritual including, Wayne Dyer, R Chistiane Northrup, Dr Bruce Lipton, Marianne Williamson, Dr Brain Weiss, and me too.

The lectures you will hear were all pre-recorded at the recent I CAN DO IT® conference in San Diego, CA.  I was present at this conference, and I have heard most of the lectures available in this SOUL NOURISHMENT series, so I know how good this series is.   Also, if the line-up isn’t inspiring enough, I am sure you will find the price is:  $20!  Also, when you sign up you will receive a special bonus downloadable excerpt with Hay House founder, Louise Hay.   I have already personally ordered a copy for every member of The Happiness Project team.

One last thought:  If 2010 is really going to be an inspirational year for you, what inspiration will you stay close to?  Make a list of the practices, books, places, conferences, workshops, CDs, and people you will draw inspiration from this year.  Promise yourself to stay close to what inspires you. 

I wish you a truly inspiring 2010. 

365 Gratitudes: Happiness is Always Now

On January 1st 2009 I made my first entry in a journal called 365 Gratitudes. One of my new year’s resolutions to myself was to make a daily entry of “one-gratitude-per-day” for a calendar year. Why? Because I wanted to experience the power of gratitude and how it might affect my life, my relationships, and my ideas about happiness, success, and abundance. Just now, with a few hours to go before mid-night on December 31st, I made my final entry for the year.

365 Gratitudes, as I like to call it, has been a challenging and enlightening experiment. The challenging bit was maintaining the discipline of setting aside 10 minutes a day to record my daily entry. Finding 10 minutes out of every 1440 minutes sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? I did okay for the most part, but sometimes I would slip, and suddenly I was having to think back over four or five days. What happened? Where had I been? How could I not find 10 minutes to stop and be grateful?!

I have engaged in many gratitude-related exercises over the years, and enjoyed them all for the most part, but none have been as confronting and beneficial as this one. I would recommend wholeheartedly that you try this experiment for yourself. 365 Gratitudes has given me a deeper appreciation for the power of gratitude. I have learned that gratitude is much more than just a positive attitude or a nice idea; it is a spiritual practice that can transform your perception of who you are and how you experience the world. Gratitude teaches you how to live.

Here are ten lessons I’ve learned about the power of gratitude having done my 365 Gratitudes.

Gratitude is a spiritual compass: Practising gratitude daily helps you to stay on course with your life-journey and with the essence of who you are.

Gratitude is a training in vision: Being willing to see each and every situation and encounter through the eyes of gratitude helps you to see possibilities that you would otherwise be blind to.

Gratitude helps you to connect: Gratitude creates a deeper intimacy and oneness with life. It’s impossible to feel truly grateful and lonely at the same time.

Gratitude is from the heart: When you remember to be grateful, you also remember to live from your heart. Gratitude helps you to love your life more, and also to be a more loving person.

Gratitude is a healer: Being willing to be grateful for everything helps you to handle everything better. Gratitude is a willingness to see the gift in everything, eventually.

Gratitude teaches you what is real: The more you practice gratitude, the clearer you become about the truth of your life, and what is truly sacred to you.

Gratitude helps you to feel safe: Gratitude gives you a basic trust that you really do live in a friendly universe. Gratitude gives you faith that every life-event, no matter what it looks like,  is ultimately for your highest purpose.

Gratitude is a key to happiness: Gratitude shows you that the grass beneath your feet is greener than you think. Gratitude teaches you that happiness is always now.

Gratitude is a NOW thing: Gratitude helps you to enjoy your life as it happens. Gratitude has a spirit of immediacy that forces you to make contact with what is, right now, right here.

Gratitude helps you to be present: The more you practice gratitude, the more alive you feel. Less often do you get lost in modes of “doing” and “going,” and “chasing” and “waiting.” Gratitude helps you to be in your life.

Christmas: The Angel of Forgiveness

Happy Christmas to You!

I wish you and your family an enchanting Christmas
and glad tidings for the new year ahead.

With that in mind I offer you the following poem,
The Angel of Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an Angel you pray to

when you need a miracle to

save you.

Forgiveness loves you all the way

home. Its sweet essence leads

you back to the Garden.

Forgiveness is a blessing that gives

you back your innocence again.

Forgiveness teaches you who You

really are, when you let go

and let God love you.

Forgiveness is a way of seeing. It

shows you what is real, and what

cannot be hurt.

Forgiveness is a holy star the lights

the way ahead for you.

Forgiveness helps you to find the

present. The shadows of the past

disappear all into now.

Forgiveness gives you wings. You

are free now to go on and be

who You came to be.

Forgiveness is the gift you came

to give to the world. Heaven’s

gentle smile here upon earth.

Christmas: The Gift of Forgiveness

Merry Christmas to You!

Christmas is a time in which we celebrate the life of a man who came to know his true essence. He taught us that each of us can do this through the power of forgiveness.

Earlier this year I had a conversation with my friend and mentor, Tom Carpenter, about the miracle of forgiveness. The conversation has recently been published on a DVD entitled A Dialogue on Forgiveness. I attach here a short five-minute excerpt in which Tom reveals how the gift of forgiveness can heal your life and save the world.

Finding Happiness: Article for Oprah.com

On Friday this week I will wrap up another Be Happy 8-week happiness course, held in London, UK. The end of the program always feels bittersweet to me. I am already grieving and I am so grateful for the journey we have been on. And it’s not over yet!

For the last eight weeks a group of fifty people have participated in a deep inquiry into life’s #1 goal: happiness. The theme for this year has been, giving up the search for happiness. In particular, we have explored the difference between “searching for happiness” and “following your joy.” The “searching” paradigm takes you outside of yourself and focuses forever on the future; the “following” paradigm helps you to meet yourself and to live more fully in the present tense.

Over eight weeks we have worked our way through a series of workshops, home study modules, daily e-mails, and have also participated on an online discussion board. We have explored the #1 Happiness Principle, The Self-Acceptance Formula, Healing Unhappiness, The Happiness Scale, 100 Gratitudes, the Receiving Meditation, the Forgiveness Principle, our Family Story about happiness, and much more. It has been a rich inquiry, and I am grateful to everyone who has participated.

Stephanie Mitchell for Oprah.com interviewed me recently about the Be Happy 8-week program. Her article is entitled Find True Happiness. In the interview Stephanie outlines ten ways to be a finder, not a searcher. She captures the spirit of my work very well.

The next Be Happy 8-week course will be held in London, in October-November 2010. You can book your place now.

Ending the Search for Happiness

Today is the start of a new eight-week happiness course, called Be Happy. Over the next two months, a group of approximately fifty people will gather in Central London to participate in a journey that will explore one of life’s most cherished and elusive goals - happiness. This year, one of the major themes we will investigate is, giving up the search for happiness.

I wonder, has it ever occurred to you that the search for happiness can be a major block to happiness? In the beginning, the search for happiness seems honest enough. However, I would ask you, how long do you really need to search for? One week? One month? One more year? One more workshop? My first spiritual mentor, an Indian yogi and philosopher, insisted that the search for happiness can be over in the blink of an eye, if, that is, you accept you are what we seek.

How exactly might the search for happiness be a block to happiness? Here are five insights for you to consider.

1. Outside You: The search for happiness arises from the erroneous belief that happiness is outside you. This displacement takes happiness away from its proper place, just as the search for happiness also takes you away from yourself. Happiness is not outside you. Until you accept that happiness is your true nature you will keep searching for happiness in all the wrong places.

2. Not Here: The search for happiness conditions you to think that happiness is somewhere else other than where you are right now. Mistakenly, you believe that happiness is a destination, and a place to get to. This causes you to race through your life so as to get to happiness. In an effort to get to some sacred place you overlook the beautiful ordinary, and you fail to see what is here already. Your searching is a form of blindness.

3. Not Now: The search for happiness implies that happiness is in the future, and not now. Mistakenly, you put all of your efforts into a happy future that is apparently on its way. Meanwhile, you live in the not-now. You use all of your “nows” as stepping stones to get you to the next moment, and the next. You have no time to be happy, right now. You hope to be happy soon, but your future ends up being the same as what you are doing now.

4. To Objectify: If you believe that happiness is outside of you, you can’t help but objectify happiness. This means you end up defining happiness as an “it” or a “thing” that exists in other places and in other people. This objectification encourages you to go shopping for happiness. Instead of being happy, you try to have happiness by attracting it, catching it, buying it, and keeping it. True happiness is not another coffee machine!

5. To Find: The search for happiness can be never-ending because searching is not the same as finding. At some point on your life-journey, you have to be willing to stop being a searcher, and be a finder. For example, instead of searching for love, find out how loving you can be. And, instead of searching for your purpose, choose one. And, instead of seeking after happiness, find within yourself a willingness and openness to be happy now, and to share your happiness with the world.

Ironically, it’s only when you give up the search for happiness that you actually find happiness. So, just for today, try this simple experiment. Make it your intention to find happiness today. Stop and recognize your true nature. Appreciate where you are right here. Enjoy this moment right now. Choose to be instead of to have. And be willing to see that happiness cannot be found in the world until you are willing to share it first.

5 Key Measures of REAL Success

I’m in Milan, Italy today coaching a team of leaders who are responsible for three global brands that are each the No.1 brand in their field.

We began the day by reviewing the question, “What is success?”  As ever, the conversation was interesting, informative, and helpful.  “What is success?” is a good question.  After that, we explored the question, “What is REAL success?”  This time the conversation went to a whole new level.  It was illuminating, energizing, and revelatory.  “What is REAL success?” is a great question.

Exploring “What is REAL success?” is an invitation to dive deeper into what really moves you, inspires you, touches you, engages you, and helps you to feel most alive and on purpose.  I love this question.  To finish the session, we each made a list of 5 key measures that help us to identify REAL success.  Here are my five measures:

1.    Love:  Love is success.  Love is happiness. Love is my purpose.  Love is the whole point of everything.  And whatever I do, I do it for love.  The more loving I am, the more successful I feel.

2.    Oneness:  I feel an abiding sense of oneness with my creator, with my soul, with my family, with my friends, with humanity, and with nature.  I am inspired and sustained by Oneness.

3.    Forgiveness: I gladly let go of all grievances, regrets, wounds, rejections, and disappointments that happened once upon a time.    Forgiveness helps me to live in the present tense.

4.    Grace: I notice how I am helped everyday – by angels seen and unseen - in a hundred thousand different ways. Right place; right time. I gladly accept the universal help that is always on offer to me.

5.    Gratitude: I don’t wait for my life to get better before I start to practice gratitude.  The more grateful I am, the wealthier I feel. Gratitude is a miracle because it shows me that it’s all here now.

OK, those are my five measures.  Writing them down feels great.  Totally affirming.  Now it’s your turn.  What are your five key measures that help you to identify REAL success?  Grab a pen and paper, and start writing.